How Does Santa Call His Wife..... - 32

"HO! HOI! HO!" But don't rely on that fat bitch to get you anything good. This year, be your own Santa and give yourself the gift of ME! A companion who WON'T : -make you do chores -nag at you -send you on pointless errands only to tell you, you did it wrong -ever ask you to meet my parents -ask you to have the "talk" with a pubescent child, who you don't know -expect you to "earn it" -force you to attend fondue with my bitchy friends -won't get a "headache" when its time to "pay the piper" or "play with the piper" A companion who WILL: -open up "restricted areas" (under the right circumstances) -show you where the wild goose goes -"swallow swords" (as hold over from my days as a carnie*) -make you completely comfortable and relaxed -want to worship your "company" -go spelunking with you - make you forget about all the nagging, chores and fondue dinners you endure on a daily basis So cum check me out, we'll get together, have a few laughs, have a good time... it will be the best gift you'll get all year -Peony, like the flower *I am not and have never been a carnie